A therapeutic relationship is like any other relationship with trust being at its core. If you asked a group of people what trust meant to them, you would likely get a different response from each. So I want to make it clear that this is my meaning of the word trust. I believe that trust is an invisible bond that holds two people in a space of honesty and safety. In a therapeutic relationship, this is strengthened overtime by both parties showing consistency and reliability.
So, if trust strengthens overtime, what is it that initially makes us feel trusting? The answer is rapport. This focuses on the bond and connection between a therapist and a client, something that is often created during the initial consultation. It is important that the client feels safe and heard to establish that initial connection. We human beings usually know whether we want to connect again with someone or not, so rapport can be quite instant.
During therapy the client will learn how they can behave differently in situations, in ways that are more aligned with themselves. Quite often, clients will use these new behaviours as ‘practice’ in the safe space of the therapeutic relationship.
Here are some examples from the clients’ perspective:
| What the client wants to work on in therapy | Practicing this within the therapeutic relationship |
| They are struggling to set and maintain boundaries in their immediate family and at work. | They can practice setting boundaries with their therapist, for example, a physical boundary, “I cannot have sessions in the morning as I function better after lunch”. |
| They are experiencing burnout due to pleasing everyone around them without getting any anything in return. | Being honest with your therapist when you have tried to please them, for example, telling them you did not understand their question or explanation they just gave. |
| They find it difficult to speak up for their needs. | They feel able to say what they need from their therapist, for example, “I like it when we start the session with 5 minutes mindfulness”. |
The therapeutic relationship is, therefore, extremely important in a client’s journey regarding their development as it will eventually be reflected in other relationships. If you cannot start with your therapist, where can you start?
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